Without sounding like Jack Bauer the last year has been the longest and hardest of my life. I will spare you most of the details but I have battled with both Empyema and long standing depression and Anorexia. I have found it so hard to communicate with my friends and have isolated myself off from most people. That has been my default for the past 25 years and while I know it isn’t helpful it is a hard habit to change and I feel guilty and ashamed that I haven’t been there or responsive to those people reaching out to me. I am truly sorry for that.
I have been interested in technology and in particular Apple for over a decade now and when I am able to I try and keep up to date with the latest rumours, news and product reviews. At times it is the only thing that can distract me from my suicidal thoughts which I am preoccupied with so much of the day and night. I listen to tech podcasts and find that more therapeutic than listening to music. (Radiohead are my go to band but well their songs aren’t the most uplifting even though I can relate so much to many of the lyrics).
A couple of years ago I started sending tweets to a certain Jim Dalrymple the well known Apple Blogger at The Loop. He responded to a few of my tweets and a year ago I asked him if he would consider publishing an article in his magazine about male anorexia which I have suffered with from when in my teens. Much to my surprise he in his usual way emailed me back with a yep! That article was published back in March and since then he has continued to link to this website and retweet some of my thoughts on mental health. He has been so supportive to me and probably doesn’t even know it. He may not be a ‘friend’ of mine or someone I will ever meet or speak to on the phone but sending a 140 character tweet to someone across the pond is easier than picking up the phone and speaking to someone that knows me. If you follow Jim on Twitter you may think he is a larger than life figure who is often angry and abrupt. Underneath that beard though is a really kind and decent human being. So thanks Jim and I hope I haven’t damaged your street cred!